My parents are dead. They were pretty fucked-up people, a drunk and a codependent. My dad wasn’t a high-functioning drunk, either—he never conquered alcoholism.
My parents were also intelligent, and they loved me a lot.
I like what Daniel Foor said in his book Ancestral Medicine, that the ancestral folks to seek out are “bright and well” ancestors. These are people who managed to heal their trauma or were supported enough to be emotionally whole. (Not my parents.)
Sometimes you have to go a long way back to find them. One of my coven members went back to the lemurs. Lemurs are a kind of primate who like to help on the spirit level, back in their native Madagascar. Present-day lemurs aren’t actually in our evolutionary tree, but they’re similar to the basal primates we evolved from. Anyway, lemurlike folks showed up at the ancestor party meditation, and they took on helping Kate, so I’m in favor of the lemurs.
One bright and well ancestor whom I work with comes from the thirteenth century—Isabella. She was a nun; she went to a convent after having children. I also have one from further back, maybe Sumerian, Ur-Nammu. She showed up one day when I was meditating in the bath. They’re my cheering section, and I feel they help maneuver things for me in a good way on the spirit level.
I feel the ancestors, if we go back to the Paleolithic, have the knowledge to get us through the big change coming. I hope they can tell how to get through it in a good way.